Pesky the Rat: News and comment from a rodent's perspective on the pressing issues of the day.

Last updated: 3/10/2005; 10:26:58 PM
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Duuuuuuuuuuude.Who is The Rat?
Pesky the Rat is renowned in rodentian circles for his toothy political commentary. Born in a garbage pile near San Jose, California, Pesky is a former Congressrat and briefly served as President of the United States during the 2000 election crisis. Pesky the Rat now operates the Howard Dean Human Suit for the Democratic National Committee.


Pesky the Rat is intended for adults that lack a certain amount

Pesky the Rat Primer for
New (or confused) Readers!

Slurp.

Janet the Snake is a regular columnist here at Pesky the Rat, much to Pesky's chagrin. Her hobbies include eating Democrats and squeezing parking meters until the quarters pop out. Go to Janet's home page  , Read Janet's biography,

Click here and Igor will send your friend mail!


Pesky's Top Stories
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush-Kerry Debate Transcript: Bush runs Windows
bullet_blue (0k image) Interview with Hurricane Ivan
bullet_blue (0k image) Beast-On-the-Street interviews: election 2004
bullet_blue (0k image) Ed the Terrorist-Detecting Pig: Part 2
bullet_blue (0k image) Ed the Terrorist-Detecting Pig
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush-Cheney campaign recruits scientists to create unfuckable campaign strategy
bullet_blue (0k image) Paddleboat Veterans for Truth Slam Kerry
bullet_blue (0k image) Fahrenheit 7-11
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Interview with Bob the Barnacle, Nader Supporter
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Bill the Oppressed Komodo Dragon

bullet_blue (0k image) Tippy the Libertarian Cow interviews Howard Dean
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Interview with Bessie the Mad Cow
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Interview with Debbie the Touchscreen Voting Machine.
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Bush signs bill to ban feminine products men do not understand
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Bush appointed by God--actual transcript!Chicks for Dixie Chicks! Yeeeeeeeeehaw!
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Donald Rumsfeld spontaneously transforms into Bar of Soap
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The Creation Myth of an Isolated South American Tribe Whose Only Contact with the Outside World Consists of a Single Episode of "The O’Reilly Factor".

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Alabama Ten Commandments pack a punch

bullet_blue (0k image) God converts to Microsoft Windows
bullet_blue (0k image) Scientists discover subatomic Republicans resonating to ultrasonic talk radio
bullet_blue (0k image) FBI apprehends The Unmarked Van
bullet_blue (0k image) A WMD ponders its own existence
bullet_blue (0k image) Disraught bacteria commits apoptosis after failing to infect George W. Bush with common sense

Recent Posts

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Foreign Affairs
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A weapon of mass destruction doing a jig
bullet_blue (0k image) President Bush sends grain of rice to testify before 9/11 panel
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Defense Department offers Carly Simon 50k for location of WMDs, Saddam Hussein, Colin Powell.
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Rumsfeld, Savage, Berlusconi attend sensitivity training
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Secret Saddam tape revealed!
bullet_blue (0k image) Where the living heck are those WMDs? Special Report
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush Art Advisors quit; never could find guy named Art
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush's attempt to show Iraq's "smoking gun" during State of the Union address goes horribly wrong


Economy
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Professor Screeeeeeecherooni talks about feline economics and the job market
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Pesky the Rat's official guide to the new Medicare drug benefit 
bullet_blue (0k image) Wilbur Screecheroooooooni talks about feline economics
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Bush names Nicolas II Manufacturing Czar
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Market Fundamentalists hire new God; said to be more cost effective
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Susan the Human searches for a home, gets pointed to death
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush flies in fighter jet to Vegas, loses his shirt to William Bennet
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush says tax cuts to create millions of jobs in funeral industry
bullet_blue (0k image) Bush: "Those of you with class have no right to make fun of those of us who have none"


lumpy_small2 (7k image)Lumpy the Mongoose
Lumpy is Pesky's Extremely Reliable Anonymous Source, traveling the world at breakneck speeds to bring you all the news that nobody else would consider fit to print. Lumpy has been known to simultaneously give live reports from three continents at the same time.

bullet_blue (0k image) Lumpy's biography
bullet_blue (0k image) Lumpy's Quantum Newsflash: Bush attempts to plant porn on Howard Dean's computer
bullet_blue (0k image) Lumpy's unfortunate chicken-related illnes


 

I am not a snack

By Pesky the Rat (PTR) -- Well, as many of you may have discovered, we here at Pesky  the Rat have been running out of gas. Some of this has to do with a certain Janet the Snake, who has been chasing me relentlessly throughout the apartment with a rodenticidal rage, and some of it has to do with Susan the Human, whose job and life and other interests are pulling her away from her proper spot as my personal stenographer.  But these things happen. And so, after three years, I will be hanging up my hat and exploring garbage piles further afield.

This page won't be going away--Susan the Human will, in her spare time, renovate it into a collection of sordid tales entitled, "I am Not a Snack: Three Years in American Politics with Pesky the Rat". There may also be a collection of Janet the Snake's disgusting contributions, title to be determined but guaranteed to be ghastly.  We hope these spots will provide a nice place to stop when the human-dominated media strays too far from the truth. Because goodness knows, the truth is all we do around here.

And so this rat thanks you all dearly for your support and friendship and snakefights in the comments, particularly Don the Corn Snake & Co, Abdul the Asp, Ginnie the Gerbil, Janet the Human & friend. You all added so much to the site. Susan the Human still tears up thinking of the image of Don the Corn Snake, carrying his little suitcase, longing for Janet to take him on some terrible vacation.  And Abdul's observations about Don's personal collection of "toys" were at times almost too much to bear.

Many thanks to the enormous support of the Salon community, particularly Mark Hoback, who got us a gig with a famous cartoonist, Rob Salkowitz, who allowed Janet to eat the wingnuts in his comments, Dr. Omed, who is his own gnome, Rich, who we believe to be a secret agent living in a nuclear submarine just off the coast of Hawaii, and to all the others who were so supportive and offered links.  We've had tons of fun and too many close calls to count.  Please keep (or start) patronizing the Salon Blogs community, which provides some of the most interesting reading on the net, free of charge.

You can still keep up with Susan the Human on her photoblog, which is temporarily still here, but which will move to a more intuitive address in the next few weeks. She should be back posting pictures of Italy in a few days.  But Susan's main focus for the foreseeable future will be to revise and finish two juvenile fiction novels she's been working on. She's particularly grateful to the three readers who provided extensive excellent commentary on one of the books in its rough form, and she will revise it taking much of that  constructive criticism into account.

Janet the Snake is taking a job with the Bush Administration as Condoleeza Rice's replacement as National Security Advisor. Democrats everywhere are advised to send her photographs of George W. Bush dressed as a hot dog. She is particularly fond of sesame seed buns.

I will be taking over the Howard Dean suit from my old pal Muffin the Bushy-Tailed Woodrat, and hopefully running the Democratic National Comittee in short order. That's just between you and me, though. Most people out there think Howard is actually real.

Off we go...and remember, no matter what those snakes try to tell you, repeat after me: "I am not a snack!"

 

Want to explore Pesky the Rat? Click on the links to the left and below.

Susan the Human can now be found at her new site, http://www.mackerelstreet.com/human , where she publishes photo essays about California, Italy, and other interesting places.



 

PoliticsOoooh! I like that. Do it some more.
bullet_blue (0k image) Condoleeza Rice says ancient trees may chop themselves in an effort to influence the presidential election.
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President Bush original State-of-Union - REVEALED!

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Bush presses red button, lights go out in East
bullet_blue (0k image) Californians to recall themselves
bullet_blue (0k image) Stop the Campaign Kitty! Stop it now!
bullet_blue (0k image) Scientists warn of massive California Recall Kitty
bullet_blue (0k image) Arnold Schwarzenegger shocker: actor is really twelve bunnies in a human suit.
bullet_blue (0k image) Tom DeLay visited by supernatural Taco Bell chihuahua
bullet_blue (0k image) Interview with Jiggles the Poodle, Senator Santorum's Ex
bullet_blue (0k image) Tippy the Libertarian Cow interviews Tim Robbins
bullet_blue (0k image) Interview with Michael Savage the Howler Monkey
bullet_blue (0k image) John Ashcroft persecutes Sea Hares for sexual practices
bullet_blue (0k image) Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist chased by headless laboratory cats, nearly crushed by falling cow
bullet_blue (0k image) Interview with Tippy the Libertarian Cow
bullet_blue (0k image) Behind the Bush poll numbers


Hamster's Choice
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Musk Ox balancing Weapon of Mass Destruction
bullet_blue (0k image) MC Hammer-Ariel Sharon-Hattie the Herpes Virus-J-Lo-Ben Affleck combo story  
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English muffin manufacturer in massive conspiracy to frame Michael Jackson.
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Squirrels take over San Francisco
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Pesky the Rat celebrates one year of blog
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Who is Lumpy the Mongoose?
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Pesky the Rat celebrates one year of blog
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Eye of Sauron caught shoplifting at Wal-Mart
bullet_blue (0k image) Interview with Funny Cide, near-champion racehorse
bullet_blue (0k image) Hair dryer hamsters on strike to protest treatment by Diva
bullet_blue (0k image) Rodent physics
bullet_blue (0k image) Duplication & Multiplication of Chickens Act (DMCA)
bullet_blue (0k image)Disturbing interview with Keiko the Killer Whale
bullet_blue (0k image) Full archives

 

larry_owl (5k image) Larry the Spotted Owl
Larry the Spotted Owl is from Kings Canyon National Park in Northern California. He drives a Harley and has multiple tatoos. He also plays pool and smokes too much. Larry watches really lousy movies so you don't have to, and occasionally makes political commentary.


bullet_blue (0k image) Larry's reviews Gothika
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry's Open Letter to Schwarzy
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry's California Recall coverage
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry reviews The Hulk
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry reviews Urban Legends
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry reviews Ghost Ship

bullet_blue (0k image) Larry reviews Gangs of New York
bullet_blue (0k image) The Rat avoids Gigli
bullet_blue (0k image) Larry the Spotted Owl Intro


 

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